2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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