Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
