No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
is it fun? or sober?
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