Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
