I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
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Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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