we're blogging at a bar
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
