Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
