Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize