Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
