I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
