My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
