It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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