glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
