SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
