You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
