I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Everclear isn't food dammit
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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