So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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