Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
