so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
