Soap is not a condiment
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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