Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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