I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
