I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
