I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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