dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
