there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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