Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize