R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
