So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
