It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize