Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
