He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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