Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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