pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
