I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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