the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
