so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
