So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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