I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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