You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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