well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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