Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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