this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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