So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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