My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize