i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
