We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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