Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
