I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
