he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
