You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
