It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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