I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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