If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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