Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
