I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
