just come out here and I will go home with you...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
