OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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