Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
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I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
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just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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