Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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