All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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