I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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