Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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