What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
