Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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