some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
