Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
