That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
