dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize