Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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