Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
